16 Apr Feeling Lost
Have you ever broken up with somebody or had a falling out with a friend and thought “But now who am I? What is it I even enjoy? Do I have any passions of my own?”
Most of my life I’ve had the habit of adopting the interests and passions of the people I’ve been closest to. Not that I didn’t have hobbies of my own, I just became so smitten that I was more interested in what they liked most about life. I guess you could say my hobby was “the other”.
It was around when I quit my corporate job that I first really recognized this. Even though I’d been single for a while and felt fully realized as an individual (I wasn’t, but I felt that way), after I quit I was suddenly and painfully without the distraction of full time work and the money to fund my favorite pastime, bars and restaurants. I felt totally lost. Desperate. Confused. Alone.
I’m telling you this because, well, in the age of COVID-19, nobody’s got bars and restaurants right now and a lot of us don’t have jobs, either, so I’m thinking some of you might identify with this feeling. Who am I? What is it I even enjoy? Now that I have all the time I complained I never had, I don’t even know how to fill it.
Rest easy, is my advice. If you haven’t already, give yourself some guilt-free time to do nothing important. Key word: guilt-free.
(I took a lot of naps…)
Rest easy, and listen. When you get one of those wild-hair ideas don’t judge it and just go about trying to do it.
(My random idea was “I want to learn to lucid dream.”)
Rest easy, listen, and trust. Trust that going with it in this way will lead to answers to the questions.
(My progression: I enjoy sleeping > I enjoy lucid dreaming inductions > I enjoy meditating > I enjoy yoga.)
Has this resonated with you? Have you been through a similar process of discovery? Do you need help getting started? I’m here for you.